Mouthwash
by cumberbatchbooty
Summary: One-shot In which Vancha tries mouthwash then gets a girlfriend. Rated T because I'm paranoid. VanchaxOC R&R please.


**A/N:** Hooray! Another fanfiction by none other than... me! This week has been very evil to me, because I have been trying to figure out a way to get my internet to work, so I dragged my computer into the middle of the room so the internet adapter was as close to the door as it could get, and I got a whole bar of internetness! Not much, but hey. I'm posting this right now, aren't I?  
>The character, Corinne, is actually the name of my friend, who wanted to be in one of my fics, so basically, she's her own OC... Try not to think about that too much, for your brain might explode. So, without further ado, I present to you, <span>Mouthwash<span>!  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> *sigh* I have a feeling you already know what was supposed to be said here...

* * *

><p>Mouthwash<p>

Vancha March – some people see him as an arrogant, smelly, disgusting man. The people who see him that way, are the people who see him for what he truly is: an arrogant, smelly, disgusting man. And he would hold true to this title, until one night, everything changed. Well, his breath didn't smell anymore.

Larten Crepsley, Arra Sails and the amazing -yet smelly- Vancha March sat at a table in the hall of Khledon Lurt, Vancha gnawing away at some food. He wasn't sure what it was, all he knew was it was some sort of meat, and he was hungry. That's all he needed to know.  
>Larten was talking with Arra about something or another. Vancha didn't care much about it, so he didn't pay any attention to it. He found more interest in the barrel of ale he was drinking.<p>

Above the rim of his second barrel that he had claimed, 'his barrel', he saw Corinne, one of the many vampiresses he had been crushing on at the moment standing over him, smirking slightly.

Vancha put the barrel back down on the table and flashed a smile at the brunette vampiress. He sat there and smiled for a moment, no one saying anything, giving Vancha the time to stare into her eyes.

"Wow, Vancha," Corinne said happily, "It's been a whole forty-five seconds, and you haven't started flirting with me yet. That's your personal record!"

"Would you like me to start flirting now?" he asked. "Is it hot in here, or is it just you?"

Corinne laughed mockingly. "There it is! And, yes, Vancha. It's just me." Vancha smiled at her, and she sat down next to Arra, her best friend.

Vancha always thought that Corinne must be pretty amazing, given the fact that she was Arra's best friend. We're talking about Arra, here, people. That's the vampire that only respects a precious few enough to shake their hand, let alone call them her best friend and tell all of her secrets to them.

That's the reason Vancha had been flirting with her so much, trying to be around her all the time. Basically spending every possible waking moment of his life trying to make Corinne fall madly in love with him.

"So, Corinne," Vancha started, "Why do you bother sitting over here with them when I'm around? I thought you said I've been ruining your life."

"No, Vancha. You haven't been ruining my life," Claudia said, "You're only making it a living hell. That, I can live with." Claudia laughed, and everyone else around the table laughed as well, even the normally solemn Larten Crepsley found his funny side and managed a low chuckle.

What Vancha didn't know was, if Corinne looked past all the dirt, green hair, horrible stench, swearing, and what bothered her the most, his horrible dragon breath, Corinne thought Vancha was actually a very handsome, sweet, caring man. And she actually had a bit of a crush on him as well. He just needed work.

Those were just _some_ of the things she liked about him. She also liked his sense of humor. He could make _Larten_ laugh, even on his darkest days. His honey-brown eyes that seemed to brighten up any room, his surprisingly white, nearly perfect smile. His darker complexion, and the fact that he rarely ever wore a shirt.

What Vancha liked about Corinne was everything, her short, chocolate brown hair, the long flowing dresses she wore that showed off her curves, her beautiful aqua eyes and dazzling smile.

He loved the way she smelled. Yes, he observed that too. She always smelled like she just got out of a shower. Her personality was amazing, always making people laugh. She had an odd sense of humor, but one that was odd in such a way, everyone had to like it.

Skin as soft as silk. He tried to make as much contact with her as possible, and from what he has accomplished (nothing but a few handshakes and the occasional slap in the face) he inferred her skin was soft and smooth.

Vancha had very many crushes in his life, and believe me when I say that, because I'm dead serious, but no one was quite like Corinne. She was just... different. Captivating, even. Vancha had his eyes set on her and vowed to do anything to get with her.

"What have you been up to?" Arra asked her friend, sipping from her fourth cup of coffee of the night.

"I was just sitting around my cell, wondering why in the world I wasn't out here with you guys!" Corinne said with the natural cheeriness that she had. "I've been studying hard to become a General, too. It's hard and really stressful. I can't wait for my third trial tomorrow. I have to do... what is it called? The hall of pointy objects or something like that?" She wasn't an airhead like some people may have inferred from that statement. She had no recollection of what it was called.

"No, Corinne, it's called the Path of Needles," Larten corrected her. Typical.

"Oh, right. Thanks Larten. Always being all helpful-like," Corinne joked. "That trial seems like a lot of fun. I really can't wait!" If it isn't obvious, she was more of the adventurous type.

"You know," Vancha said slyly, "if you get any cuts or scratches, you are welcome to come to my cell and I'll help you heal your wounds."

Corinne laughed quietly, which was to be expected. "Thank you for your kind offer, Sire, but I would rather go to Kurda."

"Wait, are you serious?" Arra asked, extremely concerned for he friend's sanity. Corinne, much like Arra, hated Kurda. It's just the way it was. But once upon a time, Kurda and Corinne were very close... Very, very close. Then one day Kurda broke Corinne's heart and everything changed.

"No!" Corinne laughed, "Of course not! I cannot believe you thought I was serious! If I had to choose between the two, I would definitely go to Vancha."

Vancha smiled triumphantly and punched the air.

"She said, out of the two, Vancha. There are other _trained _vampires that would do an exceptional job healing her." Larten was DEFINITELEY missing the point.

Vancha sank in his seat and ate some more of the unknown meat, even though he wasn't hungry.

"Anyway," Larten started, going back to the earlier conversation, "The Path of Needles can be a dangerous trial for a careless, over-confident vampire. I know of many vampires who have nearly impaled themselves on the stalagmites, some that just barely scraped by, and tons that never came back out of the cave."

"Larten, Larten, Larten," Arra tutted. "I'm starting to think you have forgotten who we are dealing with here. This is Corinne _flippin'_ Stanley, the best vampiress –maybe even vampire– that ever lived. Don't doubt her abilities. You have seen what she can do, you have even experienced it first-hand. Remember when she gave you that concussion? That was hilarious."

"Well, if it's really that hard, what advise do you have for me?" Corinne asked with a teasing voice.

"I've got something," Vancha said with a bit of a drunken slur in his voice as he put his third barrel of ale down. Here we go. "When going across the Path of Needles, you must avoid getting caught on the stalagmite thingies, so you must be sure that you wear as little clothing as possible. Then there will be more cuts for me to heal," he smirked, staring into Corinne's eyes.

"Alright," Corinne said, a smirk playing at her lips as well, "I'll make sure it isn't _you _judging that trial," she laughed.

"Alright then, your loss! Just make sure it ain't Mika," Vancha warned. "I have heard _things_ about that guy..."

"Hey! Don't talk about my mentor like that!" Arra yelled at the green-haired vampire Prince, taking off her shoe and throwing it at the right side of his face. Vancha clutched the side of his face that was struck by the shoe, and swore.

"Well, don't hurt him!" Corinne exclaimed, rushing to Vancha's aid. Making sure Vancha was okay, she scowled at the chuckling Larten. "Are you alright Vancha?"

"It hurts," he pouted, gesturing toward his bleeding lip, "Can you kiss it and make it better?" he looked up at her with puppy-like eyes.

Corinne looked back affectionately. "No," she said softly and smiled, as if talking to a child. Vancha frowned again and ordered another barrel of ale. Vancha doesn't get drunk easily.

"Sorry, Vancha," Arra apologized to her newest victim. Vancha shrugged.

"It's alright. My face can't look any uglier than it does now, can it?" Vancha grinned as he healed his lip.

"Nope," Corinne joked. Vancha sighed and frowned, looking down as if disappointed (which he was). "At least you got a cool new scar," she said, and that was returned with a shrug from Vancha.

"Hey, Larten, you took the trials, right?" Corinne asked the orange-haired vampire.

"Yes. I am a General, am I not?" Larten answered.

"Of course," Corinne shook her head. "Sorry, I was having a non-blond blond moment. I'm stupid sometimes."

"No," Vancha argued firmly. "You are a genius. And beautiful, and funny, and... Gorgeous," he stared into her eyes. "Do you have a map? Because I seem to keep getting lost in your eyes," Vancha flirted.

Corinne smiled. "You really need a map because you're getting nowhere with your flirting."

Unexpectedly, Vancha stood up and banged his fists on the table, causing Corinne to jump. "Why won't you love me?" Vancha half-whined, half-yelled, his voice cracking a bit.

"Oh, I can think of a million reasons why she won't lo–" Arra started to defend her friend, but Corinne stopped her with a wave of her hand and a sour expression.

"Well, Vancha, you don't shower, your hair's green, you smell horrible, you don't wear shoes, you spit too much, you swear a lot, but whatever, I do too, but those things I can look past because they're what make you Vancha March and I admire you because you aren't afraid to be the smelly, disgusting but equally as attractive and amazing vampire you are," Corinne said, without taking a single breath. Finally, she breathed in deeply through her nose. "It's just... Your breath."

"M-my breath?" Vancha paused. "What's wrong with it? It's not that bad."

"Yes it is!" almost the whole hall erupted. Those nosy vampires... Tisk tisk.

"Well, what do you expect me to do about it?" Vancha asked with a little more attitude than he meant.

Corinne ignored the sassiness Vancha was showing. "Here," Corinne said, handing him a small, clear plastic bottle with a minty, blue liquid in it. "Rinse your mouth with this. Just make sure not to swallow any of it."

Vancha opened the bottle and sniffed it. He shrugged. He put the bottle up to his lips, and before he took some into his mouth he asked, "What would happen if I swallow it?" then he let some pour into his mouth, not bothering to ask what it was.

"I'm not really sure, but let's not find out the hard way. Swish it!" Corinne smiled. After about thirty seconds of Vancha standing there, bouncing bit as he swished the blue liquid around in his mouth, Corinne said, "Spit!" and Vancha did as he was told, shooting the liquid out of his mouth onto the floor, making it look like a fountain.

"What _was_ that stuff?" Vancha inquired, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Mouthwash," Corinne answered simply, taking the bottle from Vancha and putting it back in her bag.

"Oh," Vancha frowned, thinking of something. "Well... Will you love me now?" he grinned sheepishly.

Corinne paused for a moment. She shrugged. "Sure." Corinne walked up to Vancha calmly and pressed a kiss to his lips. Vancha was caught off guard at first, but when he realized what was happening, he kissed back and put both his hands on either side of her face.

The kiss lasted... well, longer than it should have. Larten was blushing furiously and looking away, and Arra was extremely happy for her friend, but at the same time completely appalled by her actions of kissing the Wild Prince.

"Get a room!" Arra yelled, throwing her other shoe at the back of Vancha's head. Vancha yelped and pulled away from Corinne.

"Go away!" he turned around and yelled at Arra in a mocking tone when he saw her devious grin, then smiled back at Corinne.

"Hmm... Minty," Corinne smiled back at Vancha. "Now we just have to work on your smelliness..." she joked.

"I'll go to the showers," Vancha groaned and rushed off to the Hall of Perta Vin Grahl. "I'll be back in a flash!" he called from over his shoulder.

"What are you going to do about the spitting thing?" Arra asked Corinne.

"Let's just take it one step at a time," Corinne laughed with Arra.

"Alright, but do not expect him to shower often. He will probably commit suicide if he has to shower more than once every month," Larten notes.

Vancha smiled as he showered, ignoring the cold of the icy waterfall the best he could, feeling triumphant finally, because Corinne had accepted to be his girlfriend.

"I just hope that she doesn't expect me to shower too often," he muttered to himself as he scrubbed the dirt out of his hair. "I would probably commit suicide if I have to shower more than once every month."

~FIN~

* * *

><p>Well, I hope you enjoyed it! Don't feel too compelled to review, but it would be nice if you did anyway. Just so you know, this took me one night to write, and usually stuff like this takes me a few days, so I feel accomplished. My other fics will be updated soon. I just have lots of stuff to do, and this is just to tide you over until I update. Until then, hasta lasagna!<p> 


End file.
